Sometimes, as the song goes, love hurts. And that can be especially true if what you thought was a real relationship turns out to be a con job that costs you a ton of money.
Unfortunately, that's the case for the thousands of Americans who fall for romance scams each year.
More than 66% of the people polled for a survey released Wednesday by the cybersecurity company Malwarebytes admitted to being targeted by romance scammers, with 10% of the victims reporting that they lost more than $10,000 and 3% saying they lost $100,000 or more.
The pulse survey — a short questionnaire — was conducted between Aug. 5 and Aug. 15 and includes responses from 850 readers of Malwarebytes' newsletter from around the world.
The survey results track with federal data. Last year, the Federal Trade Commission received 64,003 reports of romance scams. which accounted for $1.14 billion in losses, with the median loss per victim totaling $2,000.
Those numbers may seem staggering, but they probably represent just a fraction of what romance scammers walk away with each year. Experts say many victims never report being scammed because they feel ashamed or don't think coming forward will do any good.
Forty percent of those polled in the August survey by Malwarebytes said they never told anyone about being scammed, while just 11% said they reported their crime to law enforcement or a nonprofit group.
Romance scams themselves, also known as pig-butchering scams, are nothing new. Scammers reach out to victims online, often through social media and dating platforms, and strike up an online relationship. They'll often build trust over weeks or even months before asking for money or personal or financial information.
Of those polled by Malwarebytes, 26% of victims said their relationship went on for "an extended period," with 12% percent reporting them lasting for several months and 5% saying they communicated with their scammer for a year or more.
But once the scammers got what they were looking for they disappeared, and the vast majority of those scammed (94%) said they never recovered the money they lost.
Read on for guidance on how to sidestep a trap.
Tips for avoiding romance scams
Be skeptical of unsolicited email, text or social media messages. There's no way to know who the people behind them actually are. If someone claims to be overseas or otherwise says they can't meet in person, consider that a big red flag.
Stick to your dating app. The companies behind dating apps don't like scammers because they're bad for an app's reputation. So they have algorithms and other safeguards in place that are designed to spot scammy behavior. Be wary if someone wants to move your communications to an outside messaging app like WhatsApp or Signal.
Never give money to people you don't know in real life. If someone you've never met in person asks for money to travel to the US to see you, to pay for medical care, or to help deal with a sudden tragedy, you should view it as a scam. The same goes for the key to your cryptocurrency wallet.
Protect your private data. Never send personal information like your Social Security number. If someone asks for naked or otherwise explicit photos, say no. The FTC says cases of "sextortion" — where cybercriminals threaten to send such photos to people's contacts if they don't pay — are on the rise.
Do your homework. People who use dating apps and sites are probably tech savvy enough to have a social media presence. Check it out. While you're at it, do a reverse image search of your potential date's photo. If it pops up in other places under a different name, steer clear.
Be wary of big returns. Don't send your money or crypto to online friends who say they have a great investment opportunity for you, even if they promise epic payouts.
Good cybersecurity will help keep you safe. As always, set good passwords, use two-factor authentication and make sure your antivirus software, operating systems and apps are all up to date. These basic practices will go a long way toward protecting you if you click on or download something you shouldn't.
Report crimes that do happen. If you do fall victim to a scam, report it to the FTC and the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center, or IC3.