The video is mesmerising. Full of lively music, twinkling sounds and graphics that revolve as quickly as a fruit machine, UEFA pulled no punches to launch what they are calling 'the new beginning.'
All these bells and whistles, of course, are to trumpet the remodified Champions League. Depending what spiel you have listened to, we are about to witness footballing nirvana – rich entertainment, glorious unpredictability and the purest form of competition, all designed to leave you breathless.
Don't fall for it. If you do find yourself being seduced by the notion that this might be something remarkable, quickly glance at the opening scoreline from the Allianz Arena and remember what this actually is: a European Super League.
As we well know with the Premier League – another competition that is not shy in telling everyone it is 'the best in the world' – there have been plenty of teams down the years who have added nothing and been chronically short of quality, simply making up the numbers.
Perhaps Dinamo Zagreb will prove us wrong but their capitulation at the hands of Bayern Munich should leave you cold about what is in store for the coming months – no team with designs on being classed as elite should be given a nine-goal shellacking.
The new-look UEFA Champions League got underway across Europe this week. Pictured: The San Siro, where AC Milan welcomed Liverpool
Harry Kane bagged four goals as Bayern Munich thrashed Dinamo Zagreb 9-2 at home
UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin (centre), pictured alongside Cristiano Ronaldo and Gianluigi Buffon, has championed the new format
Don't put it down as 'one of those nights'; if you can, re-watch the highlights. Six of the goals came in a 34-minute spell in the second half and the more Bayern's players scored, the less they seemed to enjoy it – the way a mismatch on a local park of Sunday morning can end up: joyless.
There was nothing unpredictable about the result, in the same way there was nothing unpredictable about anything that happened on Tuesday. Liverpool winning in the San Siro against AC Milan? The story there would have been if they hadn't won.
Aston Villa's return to this level is wonderful to see after a 41-year absence but a 3-0 dismantling of Young Boys of Berne – Switzerland's dominant team, who dwarf their domestic rivals financially – can't be viewed as if they had gone to Nou Camp and done the same to Pep Guardiola's Barcelona.
Were you surprised to see Juventus 3 PSV Eindhoven 1? Of course you weren't. Real Madrid beat Stuttgart, one of the sides whose arrival in the Champions League was supposed to provide some freshness and verve. Madrid didn't play well to win 3-1 but did they need to?
In fact, will they need to play at any point between now and January 29 – the final round of 16 match nights – to go through? Of course not. The top eight of the 36 teams progress straight through to the last 16, with the team then ranked nine to 24 involved in a play-off to join them. More matches.
Liverpool recovered from an early concession to claim a comfortable win over Milan in Italy
It is actually going to be harder for some not to qualify, given there enormous strength in depth compared to others who are involved. Take Madrid, the holders, as an example – yes, the trip to Anfield on November 27 is interesting but will there be jeopardy if they lose? No way.
Madrid's final two games are against Salzburg, at home, and Brest, away. A trip to Atalanta in December could be tricky but they have Lille, AC Milan and Borussia Dortmund, the last named two at home, to come before them. A place in the last 16 is waiting for them, be clear on that.
If we had a go at predicting the last 16, there's a fair chance 13 or 14 names will be the same: Manchester City, Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Arsenal, Liverpool, Borussia Dortmund, Sporting Lisbon and so on.
Of course there will be rip-roaring fixtures along the way – there is a freshness seeing Bayern Munich and Villa go head-to-head for the first time since 1982 – and each time you get a high-scoring shootout or a dramatic turnaround, the blasts of the PR trumpets will be even louder.
Again, however, it is important to stay clear in your thoughts. The competition has not been improved by adding more fixtures and more teams and, through December and January, there will be plenty of games across Europe that are being staged to complete the schedule.
Aston Villa made a winning return to the competition in their first European Cup appearance since 1986
Defending champions Real Madrid got their campaign off to the perfect start with a 3-1 win over Stuttgart
When will these people in power within football remember that less is more? The European Championship has never been the same since its 16-team format became 24, the World Cup won't be improved because more nations are participating.
In plain sight, UEFA have done away with the Champions League and launched the European Super League. This format is a convoluted joke, created with the help of AI and designed to boost bank balances. This isn't an exciting new era: it is more, more, more of the same. And you will know how it ends.