When Sven-Goran Eriksson was appointed England manager I wrote words to the effect that the birthright of the country which gave football to the world was being sold to someone from a nation of cross-country skiers who spend half their lives in darkness.
It took a while for that sentiment to be proved correct, and during his era of World Cup failure the Swedish lothario endeared himself sufficiently to our big-hearted peopleto be given a sentimental send-off when he passed away in sad circumstances this year.
May he rest in peace and his family live happily ever after on the generational wealth lavished upon him by the FA.
Undeterred, they went and did it all over again with Fabio Capello who, grazie mille, is enjoying la dolce vita at our expense despite being an even more disappointing mercenary than Sven.
Now, can you believe it,here we go again.
Thomas Tuchel is the latest name linked to the vacant permanent position as England coach
But while England has had foreign managers before, it could be argued they have yielded little success (Sven-Goran Eriksson pictured in 2001)
Fabio Capello (pictured in 2011) was arguably even less inspiring at the helm than Eriksson
Willkommen Herr Tuchel. The former head coach of mighty Bayern Munich who was sacked after a season in which he failed to win the Bundesliga.
Exactly what was up in Bavaria has never been fully explained. Was there a scandal or a personality clash behind the scenes? Or did his masters figure they should be winning the German championship even if a Dachshund was the manager – and that they were barking up the wrong tree with Thomas Tuchel in the long term?
When the sauerkraut goes the way of the smorgasbord and the pasta – as looks likely given that Tuchel is a one-year impact manager and the next World Cup is not upon us until 2026 – will the euro finally drop? That whether or not Gareth Southgate was a glass half-full or glass half-empty personality, the manager of England should be… English. Someone born and raised in the football culture of this country, someone immersed in the best and worst of our national characteristics, someone who knows what makes us tick and what buttons need pressing to get the most out of our footballers.
Oh, and by the way, a patriot for whom it is always England first, second and third. Not someone, like the present caretaker incumbent, who is so confused by his Irish antecedents thathe cannot bring himself to sing God Save The King before kick-off.
‘Little Englander’ I hear the merchants of woke cry. No, this is how is should be for every country in the world, that’s why we call them national teams.
Not only the manager and players but everybody involved, right down to the kit man, should be English. So it should be with every football nation, large or small.
Eriksson endeared himself to many during his time in the role but the right choice for England is someone who is immersed in the country's football culture
Of the candidates mooted to take over Gareth Southgate's role, Amersham-born Eddie Howe (pictured) is the strongest choice
How can a foreigner urge Englishmen to do or die on football's battlefield? Could a Swede, an Italian or a German have roused the troops like King Henry V when he implored his men: ‘On, on unto the breach dear friends or let close the wall up with our English dead.’ Sometimes when all else fails, only passion can save the day.
A bit over-dramatic? Maybe. But perhaps only a graphic illustration can bring English football to its senses. And if we are fated to keep losing World Cups the way we have since 1966, better we do so together.
It's not as if there is not one of our own to do the job. Eddie Howe, to name but one, has been hamstrung of late by the hierarchy at Newcastle, but before the meddling set in he looked every inch an England manager in the making. That Three-Lion heart is still beating.
Tuchel had it easy in Germany with Bayern, and in France with Paris Saint-Germain. Ominously, his English is not so good.