Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag admitted it is 'not nice to hurt something you love' as he prepares to face his former club FC Twente in the Europa League on Wednesday evening.
The Dutchman came through the club's academy and represented the first team on 234 occasions during three different spells.
He memorably captained Twente to KNVB Cup glory in 2001, one of only three times the club have won the trophy in their history.
Ten Hag ended his playing career at the club in 2002, before starting out coaching in the club's academy set-up.
The 54-year-old has spoken about his emotional connection to his former side ahead of Man United welcoming Twente to Old Trafford in their Europa League opener.
Erik ten Hag admitted he would rather not face his former club FC Twente in the Europa League
Ten Hag represented the Dutch side in three spells as a player and started coaching at the club
Ten Hag, third left in the middle row, came through Twente's academy to play for the senior team
'I would have preferred to play against somebody else,' he admitted. 'It's not nice to hurt something you love.'
'Of all the teams, Twente is the team I follow the most. I watch them as a fan, as a supporter, not as an analyst. It's a different way of watching their games.
'Twente brought me a lot, I was put through their academy, so for me great deal of history there.
'Manchester United, that is what I represent, but also I feel part of this club. And now I have to beat my former big love
'I have to do my job and we have to win, and we want to make the next step in the process. And so as a team, we want to improve and I have to put all my effort in to get this done.'
Ten Hag had seen his playing and coaching career shaped by his time at Twente, both due to successes and tragedies.
Tragedies that have affected his friends were seen as driving factors behind Ten Hag's determination to reach the top of the game.
The first of these happened in June 1989 when his friend, Andy Scharmin - who along with Ten Hag was on the verge of breaking into Twente's first team - was killed in a plane crash.
Ten Hag's career had been shaped by his time at Twente, including through off the pitch tragedies
The Dutchman had played at centre back for Twente and captained the club to KNVB Cup glory in 2001
Scharmin, who was born in Suriname, a former Dutch colony in South America, was travelling back there for a charity tournament having rejected the chance to play for Netherlands' under-21s in a tournament in Toulon.
However, the Suriname Airways Flight crashed on its approach to Paramaribo-Zanderij Airport on June 7, 1989. Scharmin, his mother and 14 other players were among the 178 of the 187 people on board who died.
Ten Hag, then 19, learned the devastating news when his team-mate at FC Twente, Edwin Hilgerink, knocked on his front door in the small town of Haaksbergen where they were brought up in the east of the country.
'I will never forget Edwin standing on my doorstep to tell me that a plane had crashed with Andy and his mother on board,' Ten Hag recalled.
'That was a huge blow. At his funeral I carried Andy's coffin with other team-mates. It happened on June 7, 1989, and every year on that date I have a day of mourning.'
Just months after Ten Hag left the club for the first time, Twente's new summer signing Tom Krommendijk was killed while driving home after crashing his car.
The death of a former youth team-mate Gino Weber, as well as fellow academy star Wilfried Elzinga being forced to retire early through injury, were also impactful to Ten Hag.
Ten Hag's philosophy has been heavily influenced by his mentor and former youth-team coach Epi Drost, who died of a heart attack aged 49 in 1995.
Ten Hag was Twente captain at the time of an explosion at a fireworks warehouse in 2000, which saw 23 people killed and destroyed hundreds of homes in Enschede
'I often think back to my youth at Twente,' said Ten Hag. 'Three boys were so good they could have made it to the national team. But one of them was seriously injured and two other boys died young. It puts everything into perspective.
'Epi Drost was my idol. He was a fan of adventurous football. He stimulated creativity, because that was the most important thing to him. Epi died due to a cardiac arrest during a match. That was a massive blow for me.'
During his third spell as a player at Twente an explosion at a fireworks warehouse in Enschede - where the club plays - killed 23 people and left 950 injured. Hundreds of homes were also destroyed in the blast.
Ten Hag had later reflected on his anger that Twente had been forced to play a match just one day after the disaster.
The club's success in the KNVB Cup one year later had been seen as vital in helping to bring joy to the area.
'When I think of the cup final, I think of the euphoria, the happiness, the sensation. It is a prize that is inextricably linked to the fireworks disaster,' Ten Hag said in a 2021 interview.
'Twenty years later, the disaster is still sensitive, it has left a crater in the city and the aftermath is still palpable. Without wanting to overestimate the importance of football, winning the cup gave the city back some pride a year after the disaster.'
Having retired as a player in 2003, Ten Hag would pursuing his coaching ambitions at the club, starting out as an under-17 coach before spending three years leading the under-19 side.
His rise through the ranks continued when he became an assistant manager, a role he held when former England boss Steve McClaren took charge in 2008.
Ten Hag began his coaching career at Twente and served as assistant to Steve McClaren
The pair later reversed roles when Ten Hag became the manager of Manchester United
McClaren, who later served as an assistant under the Dutchman, reportedly allowed Ten Hag to lead training sessions for his first two months at the club as he embedded himself into the club's culture.
Ten Hag had ultimately left the club to pursue his own managerial ambitions by the time McClaren led Twente to the domestic title in 2010.
Having left Twente on four occasions as a player and manager, another return cannot be ruled out in the future.
Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, Ten Hag's former team-mate Boudewijn Pahlplatz expressed his belief that the Man United boss has a future ambition to take on another role at the Dutch side in the future.
'Already a few years ago, I think maybe 10 years ago or something like that, he said "one day I'm coming back to FC Twente and then I will be the chairman",' Pahlplatz said.