SINGAPORE - For Stacey Nonis, the weight of caregiving is compounded by a painful history. Her mother, Daphne, lives with schizophrenia. As a child, Nonis endured beatings and verbal abuse. Now, at 45, she is the sole provider for both her elderly parents. Her father, 90, is frail and prone to health crises. She is the only child, and there is no backup.
She juggles a full-time job with round-the-clock care: managing meals, medications, and emergencies. “I’m terrified of losing my dad,” she says. “I don’t want to be left alone with my mum.”
Across Singapore, similar stories are unfolding. Mabel Kerk, 40, cares for her five-year-old son, Benedict, who has a rare genetic condition called HIDEA syndrome-believed to be the only case in the Asia-Pacific. He cannot breathe, eat, or see without support. His oxygen levels can drop suddenly. She must act within a minute.
For Cocoanna Christian, 47, caregiving is a double burden. She cares for her husband, who has mobility issues after a stroke and lives with schizophrenia. She herself has kidney failure and advanced heart disease-her heart function is at about 35 percent. “My heart can stop anytime,” she says. Her greatest fear is what will happen to her husband when she is gone.
Imran Wee, 45, cares for his 87-year-old mother with dementia. He has no extended family support. His sense of duty is partly driven by guilt: he was imprisoned for 12 years for drug trafficking and, during that time, missed the early signs of her illness. “The feeling of guilt … makes me prioritise this caregiving role now over any other things-my career, even my love life,” he says.
Yet, amid the struggle, there is movement. Nonis has started to rebuild a relationship with her mother, describing it as “forming a brand-new friendship.” Kerk holds onto hope that her son will one day communicate using an eye-gaze device. Christian is working to make her husband more independent. Wee is trying to open his heart to the possibility of love again, but the burden remains. “As long as I’m a caregiver, that’s the choice that I make,” he says.