Confidence isn't about arriving at a destination. Licensed therapist Claire Fountain says it's truly 'a sense of trusting one's self,' independent of outside factors.
Many confuse confidence with self-esteem. Dr. Kristin Neff, an educational psychology professor at UT Austin, clarifies that self-esteem evaluates self-worth. Confidence, or 'self-efficacy,' is the belief in your ability to get things done.
Why does it matter? Dr. Mia Smith-Bynum of the University of Maryland says confidence is crucial for wellbeing, helping you trust that you can manage life, build relationships, and take care of yourself. A lack of it can prevent you from trying new things or pursuing what you want.
How to Build It:
- Identify the Source: Recognize that industries profit from undermining your confidence. Read memoirs of resilience; understand that doubt is normal.
- Find Community: Confidence isn't solo. 'You’ve got to find affirming spaces to remind you of your humanity and celebrate your uniqueness,' says Dr. Smith-Bynum.
- Question Self-Doubt: Use 'resourcing'-identify facts that contradict your critical beliefs, like a recent promotion or a long-term job.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Talk to yourself like a good friend. Neff notes that if you fail, self-compassion helps you get up and try again, which 'predicts grit.'
- Take Small Steps: Confidence is action-oriented. Set small goals, like asking a barista how their day is, to rewire your brain.
- Practice Resilience: True confidence comes from adversity. 'Every time we are able to struggle, self-reflect and figure out a way forward, we grow,' says Dr. Smith-Bynum.